The Fairy Tale

February 20, 2010

Growing up, I wanted the fairy tale. I believed that I could be a princess, and someday, a knight in shining armor would come galloping up and sweep me off my feet. That he would ‘save’ me. I believed that I needed to be rescued, that if I just waited long enough, I wouldn’t have to live this big scary life by myself. That my prince would slay all my dragons!

Guess what?

I waited for a long time. I have many, many failed relationships under my belt with men who I thought were there to rescue me. Any confidence I had in myself began to vanish, because I believed that I wasn’t worthy of getting my own prince. That there was something wrong with me, and that was the reason I wasn’t being rescued.

And in a few relationships, I ended up being the queen. The one who was supposed to rescue the so-called prince. Yeah. Me with no confidence, supposed to rescue the rescuer? We all know that didn’t work out either! Self-confidence was something I was no longer familiar with. How was I supposed to rescue this guy if I couldn’t even rescue myself?

Meanwhile, real life continued to happen. I got married, had a child, and after a long, bad marriage, a divorce. I dated more bad choices, none of them a rescuing prince. I worked, I was a single mom. I went back to get my master’s, I raised my child, I ran my household, I got healthy, I reignited my passion for art and music. I remarried, and found out what it’s like to need to be the rescuer, and got divorced (again). Along the way, I discovered that I didn’t want to be a princess. I didn’t want to be a victim waiting to be rescued. I also discovered that I didn’t want to be the queen, the one with all the strength and power who rules over others.

The Reality

The past 18 months have been incredibly tough. Life has dealt many blows, most of them unexpected. I am alone, I don’t have a prince. So, here’s the thing… I found out that I don’t need one.

Yes. I don’t need a man.

I said it.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I do need family and friends. However, when it comes to dealing with what life sends my way…I can rely on myself. I am strong enough. I am smart enough.

That makes me feel sexy and beautiful.

I am strong, smart, sexy and beautiful. I don’t need a man to tell me that. I’ve discovered this on my own. I can get through life by myself, and it is going to be just fine. Throw adversity my way, it will only make me stronger!

I am told this is what is called ‘confidence’. Wow! Who knew?

I do know this—being a ‘princess’ is no life for me. I don’t want to be rescued. I don’t need to be rescued. I have a real life, and I live it.

Though I would like to have the Happily Ever After. ♥



  1. Victoria,

    I hope someday that I can be there for you like all the friends above me have. You are truly an amazing woman, a term that I have come to use a lot the more and more I get to know you. Keep doing what you doing. Keep your chin held high and don’t change what you are doing. <3! <3!

    • Haha, just realized I wrote that twice. man its late! haha! =D

  2. Hört, Hört!
    I´m so glad for you. I don´t want to repeat all the compliments you got from your obviously gorgeous friends, they are all right and I fully agree.
    I´m still learning that I´m responsible for my own happiness, but, with your inspiring posts, the process is easier, so thanks.

  3. I don’t need a man either! But somehow I think it’s different! Thanks for sharing your self-confidence.

    • Jobe, Thank goodness you don’t need a man! I would wonder then….. As a father to a little girl, what are your thoughts on this? On the whole traditional fairy tale thing?

  4. Very well said V.

    I know you will be able to realize your dreams, you are a smart, strong, and beautiful woman. Don’t let fears limit your hopes and aspirations. We are all rooting for you.

    – Eddy

    • Awww, Eddy, you are so sweet!! I’m flattered that you read my post! Thank you for the kind words… and obviously I already had lost your contact info… now I have your e-mail, but before I forget, thank you for the flowers!!

  5. You rock my world, Victorius!

    • Dearest Rachel! Quite Frankly, your one-liners from GuysDoMeAFavor have been very helpful and uplifting… stuff that I’ve always wanted to say, but couldn’t. I often would find myself repeating them… it felt good knowing that someone else was thinking a lot of the same things I was, and that it was okay!!
      When are we getting together? Because I think we should!

  6. Yay for you Vickie! You made it! You bloomed! I knew you had that confidence in you, it was just being stifled by always looking out of yourself for someone else to validate you. No one can validate you except yourself. You are intelligent, talented, kind, and beautiful inside and out. What a beautiful gift you have and what a beautiful gift for your daughter to witness. I am so happy for you!
    Love you,

    • Theresa, you have always been there for me, confident in me even when I was not confident in myself… you have seen so many of my ups and downs… and without your support, (and excellent example, might I add) I may never have come this far. You are correct… no one can validate me except myself… maybe these past 18 months have been so difficult because I needed to be shown that I could handle it on my own. That I was strong enough. I did. Here I am. Finally. 🙂
      Love to you!! (and Edward and Andrea, too!) xoxo

  7. You are SO right. You are strong, beautiful, sexy and confident.
    It’s easy for me to say “you don’t need a man” because I am married. I know if I was single, I would NOT get married again. You are FREE to do what you want. FREE to live life how you choose. FREE to go where ever you want. FREE to be YOU.

    You have friends, family, your health. What more in life does one need?
    I love YOU.

    • Love you too Shelley… you are a wonderful example of a strong, sexy woman! It’s true, I am free to do what I want… to follow my dreams… and I am so lucky to count you amongst my friends! xoxo

  8. Very well said, Torie. Confidence is always attractive.

    • Thank you! I can’t believe it took me this long to come to these revelations… So if I find someone for my happily ever after, so be it, but if I don’t, I know I’m going to be all right!

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