“My 365” August 13, 2010

August 13, 2010
August 13, 2010

August 13, 2010 -- the part missing

August 13, 2010. 6:09pm PST. Shutter 0.769231. Aperture f/4.0. Manual exposure, no flash.

Three months ago,  I was a runner. Not a great one, but serious about it. On May 15 I ran my second 1/2 marathon in that month. I PR’d my time, in spite of the hills. Felt fine on Sunday. Ran a recovery run… a quick 3 miles… on Monday, and then a quick 4 miles on Wednesday. Came down with the flu on Thursday-Saturday. On Sunday I set out to run my long run.

I was already registered and paid up for the Disneyland 1/2 marathon coming up in September, and about to register for my first full marathon… the Long Beach Marathon! I was so excited to get my training on track! But then, something happened.

As I set out to run my long run on Sunday, May 23rd, I noticed some pain in my lower left leg, just under the knee, slightly to the inside. But like most runners, I ignored the pain and kept my pace steady. A little pain was to be expected a week after running 13 miles, for the second time in a month.

The run was planned for an easy ten miles. I had been looking forward to it… a good run in to get my motivation going! I ignored the pain for as long as I could. By mile six, I knew something was really wrong. I turned back toward home. At mile seven, while crying, my leg gave out under me, and I grabbed a fence to stay upright.

I half-limped/half-dragged my leg and myself home. Called the doctor first thing. His diagnosis… shinsplints (really???) to be treated with absolutely no running, just cycling and swimming, and round-the-clock anti-inflammatories.

I was back one month later. Pain while walking, Simply not better at all. Dr. advice: continue with what you are doing. I said, I’d like to see a specialist. Dr. said, oh no, I know exactly what this is, you just need more time.

3 weeks later, back again. I’m hysterical… there’s swelling, aching even when horizontal…. something is not right. I’ve not run at all. Finally, the Dr. gives me a referral to an orthopedist. Of course I have to wait to get in.

My appointment is on Wednesday.

Meanwhile, I’ve lost a very important part of me. The part that centers me, the part that makes me feel invincible, the part that feels camaraderie, the part that frees me… is gone. Am I even a runner anymore?

I pray I can get that missing part back. xo



  1. I’ll be sending you good thoughts now and on Wednesday. SO sorry to hear you’re still battling this!

  2. The legs are not the foundation of a runner. The heart is. You are a runner with a heart full of determination and love (and great legs by the way). Stay strong!

    • George, thank you… your words mean a lot.

  3. I don’t know when you’ll run again, but you will. In the meantime, the determination and personal strength that running has fostered in you will always be there for you to draw on. Incidentally, the gams are looking quite good, in a very composed picture!

  4. It’s alluring on one level, and on another there is a fascination about the rotation of the image, making it into some kind of man-made structure. It’s as if they are not even a pair of legs anymore.

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